Tantrums and toddlers: The why and how of it all

When your three-year old daughter is throwing oranges on the ground in the local food store and screaming so loudly you think people at the other end of the store are taking notice, you can look around confidently after you’ve read this article at all the annoyed shoppers and say, “This isn’t really about fruit at all. Her body is just releasing a large amount of cortisol at the moment.”

When your son jumps headlong into the kind of tantrum in the local shopping mall that you’re sure threatens to shatter your eardrums and nerves in rapid succession, remember there’s a scientific reason for everything they do and even the most horrendous tantrum is a normal part of growing up. Really.

Deep inside developing brains

That’s what the experts say. Harried parents can take solace in the fact toddler tantrums don’t start with a choice on the part of your child to act badly , but rather deep inside their developing brains in that part called the prefrontal cortex. In fact, pediatric neuropsychologists now say that children from 18 months to four years may be prone to tantrums simply because that part of their brains regulating social behavior and emotional outbursts is the last to develop. What’s even more interesting is this lagging part of grey matter might be the control center for developing language. Simply put, you can blame at least part of their behavior on Darwin rather than Mom and Dad and take comfort in the fact those foot stomping episodes are the front end of all the meaningful discussions you’ll have with them later in life.

There’s more to consider and thinking like a child helps you to understand them better. One of the drivers behind those outbursts is founded in the fact little versions of big people don’t understand the cause and effect of daily life the way we do and that leads to stress.
Everyday things like taking a bath can seem strange and even threatening to a young brain that doesn’t understand the water rushing from the taps isn’t a grievous threat, and the heightened state of arousal causes their bodies to release the fight or flight hormone, cortisol.

Scientific reasoning

So now that you understand at least some of the reasons your toddler throws tantrums are rooted in sound scientific reasoning, you can get involved as a parent and do a few things to help them develop their language skills.

Start by ditching the baby talk. Your toddler can become frustrated with their own lack of vocabulary and verbal skills, so imitating them because you think being on the same level is a good things doesn’t really help. Since Mom and Dad are the examples she’ll be looking to, you should always speak in clear full sentences so they can build their own verbal skills by imitating you.

Let him practice his new skills by having conversations. Research has shown language development is boosted this way so you should make sure to ask questions that need detailed explanations and not just yes or no answers. For example, don’t just ask if he likes dogs when you see one ,but why.

Read more info like this at All My Children.
Author: Rob Starr