Sibling Bonding Simplified

It’s the dream of every mother that her daughters and sons grow to become the best of friends, but the reality of the incessant dinner table spats, fights over favorite toys and backseat squabbles usually paints a completely different picture. Ask any father with more than one child and he’ll likely tell you sibling rivalry is most often the default position younger brothers and sisters adopt.

However, you don’t need to accept all that pinching, arguing, yelling and crying as the status quo you need to put up with until they grow up and leave for college. There are things parents can do to write codes for cooperation and respect in their children’s minds that will save Mom and Dad a lot of headaches and teach them the fundamentals of getting along with others they will need to be happy and fulfilled throughout their lives.

Manners Matter

You can start be teaching your toddler manners. Very often parents excuse children at this age for their bad behavior, and while they might be exempt for not knowing a salad from a dinner fork, there’s no reason why they can’t pick up on the basics of sharing early on. Teach them how to be considerate and polite by telling them in an even, soft tone things like: “Your sister is playing with the blocks now , but you can have them after she is done.” They might not understand everything you’re saying, but the tone will get the point across.

While we’re on the subject of playing and toys, which toys you pick to share make a big difference. Every young child has their favorite possessions and forcing them to share their best action hero or treasured doll will foster a feeling of both insecurity and resentment toward their sibling. Every kid needs a few things that are just his or hers.

The Fires of Resentment

It’s also critical you don’t fans the flames of competition and rivalry between your children by comparing them to each other. Kindling for the fires of resentment are built with statements like, “Why can’t you be more like your bother?” or “ Your sister doesn’t grab the toys the way you do.”

Oddly enough, one of the best things you can do to help your children get along is stay out of their way in certain circumstances. Helping them to create an active role in a family support system fosters a give and take among siblings that can build a close relationship for life. So, the next time the toddler in your clan asks you to help him put his shoes on, try enlisting the help of his older sister. With a little practice and a few other carefully orchestrated episodes you put in place like asking your little boy to read to his baby sister before her bedtime, you’ll find a more balanced family dynamic where your children look to each other for support and guidance to get through the ups and downs of daily life.

Read more info like this at All My Children.
Author: Rob Starr