What to Do When Your Kid is the Bully

Bullying and all the negativity that comes with it is an unfortunate part of many children’s formative years. Some kids make it through this time unscathed by the pain of bullying, but for far too many kids, at one point or another, they will experience some form of bullying. We always want to protect our children from the worst. But what happens when it’s your kid who is doing the bullying? This may seem unbelievable to you, but you never know when your kid may be at fault. This can be difficult, but you can get through it. Here are some steps you can take to change your child’s behavior for the better.

Get To the Root of the Problem

Oftentimes, the child who is bullying is going through something troubling himself. Before punishing your child for his unacceptable actions, sit down and talk. Is he being bullied too and is looking to “toughen up” his image? Is something going on at school that is troubling him? Perhaps he is struggling in class or is not fitting in with his peers. Maybe he is taking his aggressions out on others because he is sad. Has there been an upset in the family dynamic? Sometimes kids bully to be heard. Talking things out may change things dramatically. Let your child know you are there to listen and bullying is never the answer.

Consider the Consequences

Even if a productive discussion sets your child on the road to an attitude improvement, his prior behavior will have its repercussions. The damage has been done and the appropriate punishment must be administered. Be sure to cooperate with his school and deal with your own consequences at home. Bullying can affect kids for years to come, so his actions should not be taken lightly. Part of his punishment should be a reflection on the pain he’s inflicted upon his peers and what he can do to help mend his ways and these relationships.

Talk About Change

There is always room for apologies and a turnaround in behavior. After being a bully, some kids think they can never change. This is not the case. Kids are receptive to sincerity and will appreciate a wholehearted apology. Not every kid will want to be his friend necessarily, but they may accept the apology and move on from there. You can convince your child to befriend kids who are seen as outcasts or are always alone. He can reestablish his reputation by becoming an ally rather than an enemy. Time will heal things and everyone can hopefully start anew. The repercussions of your child’s bullying ways will stay with him too. Hopefully he will learn that bullying doesn’t make him more powerful but actually brings him down.

Talk about bullying from both sides of the spectrum before it starts. Open communication is the key to helping your child form positive relationships and connections with friends.

For more information like this, please visit All My Children.

By: Melissa A. Kay