What Your Child Really Means When They Say…

Children are learning how to communicate every day.

As they get older and their vocabulary evolves, their ability to express themselves will grow more mature. Right now, there are times when they need to get their feelings out in the open, but their message is stifled by their verbalization.

Before shutting them down or criticizing their comments, understand that your child is doing the best they can. The seemingly “unkind” things kids sometimes say come out the wrong way. They are not intending to be hurtful, but they don’t quite have the communication skills to get their point across more productively.

The next time your child says one of these three (unfortunately) common phrases below, here’s how you can help them with their delivery. Over time, your child will learn to take a deep breath before blurting something out. Frankly, this is a lesson we can practice at any age.

“Go Away!”

While this one is certainly direct, it isn’t exactly considerate. Your child may want some time alone and needs a better way to let you know they need a little space.

Encourage them to say, “I’d like to be by myself for a while. Can I tell you or get you when I’m ready?”

Perhaps you can come up with a “me time” or a “time out” signal. This will alleviate any tension or apprehension your child may have for wanting to be left alone for the time being. Maybe you can use it too!

“I Hate You!”

They don’t really hate you; they’re probably frustrated. Show your child how to express their dissatisfaction without being disrespectful.

Allow them to vent about the situation so they can process their feelings and focus on the issue they’re actually annoyed by. Sit together until they simmer down so you can get to the root of the matter. Together, you can come up with a solution that makes sense.

This method will teach your child to think about what’s bothering them before “blaming” you.

“You’re Mean!”

You’re most likely NOT mean. But your child doesn’t like the rules you’ve set in place. They want to eat something different than what you prepared for dinner, but you won’t make it, for example. There’s no “menu,” so you’re “mean.”

Try to remain calm and consider why they are so upset. Explain how we all have different preferences by empathizing with their disappointment. But they must understand that insults aren’t the answer. We need to adapt sometimes in order to cooperate.

As your child becomes more articulate, they are sure to find better alternatives to get their thoughts out. Continue to help them learn to communicate effectively and appropriately. There will be slip-ups, but every step is a success.

How do you deal with these sorts of situations? Help other AMC parents and caregivers with your advice.

For more information like this, please visit All My Children’s blogs.

By: Melissa A. Kay