What to Do When Your Child Acts Out in School or Day Care

We try to teach our kids to be respectful of their peers and to treat their classmates or friends at day care as they would want to be treated. Everyone hopes their child will be on their best behavior when they are in the care of others. That said, there will likely be times when your child doesn’t behave well at school or day care. Here are some tips for handling the situation and preventing it from happening again.

Before Punishment, Talk About It

If you find out from your child’s teacher or caregiver that he misbehaved in class, give him a chance to explain what happened and why he acted the way he did. Chances are, he will regret his poor choice of behavior and you can both come up with better solutions he can put into play if a similar scenario happens again. Even if he regrets his actions, he still will need to understand that his behavior was unacceptable and may need to suffer the consequences. However, by discussing what occurred and making sure he understands why what he did was a poor choice, he may learn to react in a positive way the next time.

Insist on Apologies

Just because your child may have gotten in trouble in school or day care and got sent to the principal or put in “time out”, it doesn’t mean the offended parties feel any better about what went down. Once he is back at school or day care, he should apologize to the teacher, caregiver, other children, and anyone else who was affected by his actions. You can help him practice what he is going to say if he feels nervous or shy about doing it. This will teach him to sympathize with the hurt feelings of others and may prevent him from misbehaving in the future. A heartfelt apology will go a long way and will likely get your child back in the good graces of his companions and teachers quickly.

Everyone Makes Mistakes

Although you may be angry with your child for his misdeeds, understand that we all make poor decisions at some points in our lives. Use your child’s acting out as a teaching moment. You can help him manage rage, learn better ways to react to uncomfortable situations, and provide tips for him to get along well with others. Yes, punishment may reinforce these notions, but making sure your child knows you still love him and forgive his actions is important. As long as he improves moving forth, consider his behavior as part of normal development and not the sign of a “bad” child. Compassion may be all he needs to proceed with exemplary behavior in the days and years to come.

How do you handle things when your child acts out in school or day care? For more information like this, please visit All My Children.

By: Melissa A. Kay