My In-Laws are Meddling in My Child Rearing!
How to Deal With Unwanted Input from Relatives
No matter the relationship you have with your in-laws, it can be an uncomfortable situation if they want to chime in on how you are raising your child. Some in-laws mean well and only want the best for you and your family, while others are mainly critical and self-righteous.
Whatever the case may be, if you feel like the in-laws are meddling in your child rearing techniques and plans, you may need to put a halt to it at once. The sooner you put your foot down as to what type of input is acceptable or not wanted at all, the better the family dynamic will be. This is your child, not theirs, and you and your partner have the right and privilege to raise him or her as you deem fit.
Listen and Decide
Before jumping to thinking the worst, the least you can do is give a listen to what your in-laws are saying. The benefit of the doubt never hurt anyone. After hearing them out, it’s up to you whether you take the advice or say “no thanks” because you know what’s best for your child. Hopefully, you are given the respect you’ve earned as parents and the in-laws back off and keep their opinions to themselves. As long as they know you’ve given them an open ear, your attention may be all that was wanted in the first place.
Be Firm Yet Kind
If the unwanted advice keeps coming your way and leads to frustration and irritation, it’s time to stand up for yourself. Firmly remind your in-laws that you know what you are doing, and while you appreciate their concern, you’ve got things under control. There’s no need to lash out or raise your voice, but don’t back down either. They must understand that while you love and respect them, they must reciprocate the feeling and allow you to raise your child the way you want to. Give them a warning that you just won’t tolerate any more meddling and suggest they point their efforts towards their own relationship with their grandchild(ren).
Tune It Out
If all else fails and the in-laws are relentless, it’s up to you to deal with your own feelings and let them carry on as they please. When the in-laws offer unwanted advice over and over again, simply tune them out. Nod your head and go about your business. They will feel satisfied for having said what they’re thinking, and you know that there’s nothing you’re going to do about it. Perhaps not the ideal relationship, but it will work for you if you just let it go.
How do you deal with unwanted advice and meddling from your in-laws? Were you able to come to a solution that worked for everyone?
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By: Melissa A. Kay
