How to Teach Children to Name Their Feelings

Young children experience intense emotions, but they often lack the words to express them. Instead of saying, “I’m frustrated,” they might cry, scream, or throw something. Teaching children to name their feelings equips them with the tools to communicate effectively, self-regulate, and develop emotional intelligence.

Teaching emotions doesn’t have to be complicated. Through simple conversations, games, and everyday moments, you can help your child recognize and express their feelings.

1. Label Feelings in Everyday Moments

One of the easiest ways to teach emotions is to name them as they occur. If your child is upset about dropping their ice cream, you might say, “You’re feeling sad. It’s disappointing when we lose something we enjoy.” If they’re jumping with excitement because Grandma is coming, say, “You’re excited! It’s fun to see people we love.”

By consistently naming emotions, kids start to connect words with their feelings.

2. Read Books About Emotions

Books are a great way to introduce feelings in a fun and relaxed manner. Stories help kids see different emotions in action and relate them to their own experiences. These three books can get you started:

• The Color Monster by Anna Llenas
• How Do Dinosaurs Say I’m Mad? by Jane Yolen
• When Sophie Gets Angry—Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang

As you read, ask, “How do you think the character feels?” or “What do you do when you feel that way?” This encourages children to reflect on their emotions and learn how to manage them effectively.

3. Play the “Feelings Face” Game

Kids learn best through play. A fun way to practice recognizing emotions is by making different facial expressions and guessing the corresponding feelings. Say, “Let’s make a happy face!” and take turns smiling. Try sad, angry, surprised, and silly faces too.

You can also use flashcards or printed pictures of different facial expressions and ask, “What feeling do you see in this expression?” Then, talk about times when they felt the same way.

4. Use a Feelings Chart

A feelings chart can help kids express emotions when they don’t have the words. These charts display pictures of faces with various emotions, including happy, sad, mad, scared, and others. Keep one on the fridge or in their bedroom and encourage them to point to how they’re feeling.

Ask, “Can you show me how you feel today?” Then, talk about why they feel that way and what might help.

5. Model Naming Your Own Emotions

Kids learn by watching you. When you express your feelings out loud, they see that naming emotions is normal and helpful. Try saying things like:

• “I feel frustrated because we’re running late.”
• “I’m really happy because I love spending time with you!”

This shows kids that all emotions are okay and teaches them how to talk about their own feelings.

6. Teach Simple Coping Strategies

Once kids can identify their feelings, they need to learn how to manage them effectively. If they’re upset, encourage them to:

• Take deep breaths
• Hug a stuffed animal
• Count to ten
• Talk about what’s wrong

The goal isn’t to suppress emotions, but to help kids manage them in a healthy way.

7. Be Patient and Encouraging

Learning to name feelings takes time, especially for young children. Praise their efforts! If they say, “I’m mad!” instead of throwing a toy, acknowledge it: “I’m glad you told me how you feel. Let’s talk about it.”

By making emotions a natural part of daily conversations, you’re giving your child an important life skill. They’ll be better at expressing themselves, understanding others, and handling challenges as they grow.

Teaching kids to name their feelings doesn’t have to be complicated. Through everyday conversations, books, games, and modeling, you can help them understand and express emotions. With time and practice, your child will feel more confident in sharing what’s on their mind—and that’s a win for everyone!

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By: Melissa A. Kay