How to Talk to Small Children About Divorce

While it’s not an easy subject matter to tackle, there may unfortunately come a time when you split from your spouse or there is a divorce in the family and you must explain this to your young child. While the adults may have come to terms with this major change in the family, children may not be as accepting, really understand what’s going on, why the parents are going their separate ways, or what this means for them. Every family is different and will decide upon how to broach the subject with their child, but these universal tips may be of help if you ever find yourself in need of explaining divorce to your little one.

It’s Not Your Fault

Small children may mistakenly believe that they have done something to cause the divorce. Please be sure to help your child understand that nothing they have done was a factor in the decision to divorce. Explain that adults sometimes need to separate in order to get along better or because they can no longer be married forever as they had hoped for whatever the reason. Let your child know that this doesn’t apply to children, and no matter what, you will never separate from them. Even if the child may live with only one parent for the majority of the time, that doesn’t mean they are no longer the other parent’s child. No matter what your child’s behavior has been like, it was never a reason for the split.

We Love You as Much as Ever 

Your child may sense that love may have been lost between the parents. Perhaps you still love one another as friends or family, but something emotionally may have shifted. Now, more than ever, it’s so important for the parents to reassure the child that they are loved unconditionally by both parents and that will never change – it will only grow stronger. No matter what the future of the relationship with the “ex” may be, your child needs to know how much you adore them and will until the end of time.

 We Are Still a Family

 Young children may equate divorce with being less of a family in some way. This is not the case. Although the parents may now live apart and are no longer a couple, by having a child together, this will always bind them as a family. Make sure your child is fully aware of this concept – that you are still mom or dad, and will always be a family, even if it’s a new version of what it was in the past. All families are different and it doesn’t mean one type is any better than another. If you are able to still do certain activities as a unit, that would benefit the child, but no matter how you carry on in the future, one thing that will remain constant is the concept of “family”.

How have you handled the delicate topic of divorce with your young child? What were the most useful tips you can share with the AMC community? For more information like this, please visit All My Children.

By: Melissa A. Kay