How to Help Your Twins Form Their Own Identities
Being a twin is surely a blessing. You always have a friend and someone with whom you’ll have a special and unique bond. When twin children are small, they may delight in dressing alike, playing with the same friends, and having a somewhat joint identity as “the twins.” The cute factor is undeniable, but as twins get older they will probably want to and may benefit from exploring separate interests and forming their own identities. Here are some ways you can encourage your twin children to navigate outside of the twin world and step into their individual personalities.
Clothing and Hairstyles
While the twins are small, many parents will dress them similarly or choose similar hairdos for convenience or because it’s so adorable. A better idea may be to allow the twins to pick what they are drawn to on any particular day from the clothing you have for them. If they want to dress alike, that’s fine, but as they get older, they may start to feel silly or find that others cannot tell them apart. If they like having the same haircut, suggest wearing hats or other accessories or styling each child’s hair a bit differently so each child can express a unique look.
New Friendships
Oftentimes, your twins will grow up with the same friends in your town or in school or daycare. As the kids get a bit older, they may gravitate toward different kids in the group and may not always have the same connection with every child. That’s OK. Set up separate playdates and encourage your twins to make friends on their own rather than as a duo. This will help each twin find another close companion other than their twin. They will broaden their circles and learn more about forming relationships.
Different Hobbies
While it may be simpler to enroll both twins in the same gymnastic class or art course, they may fare better by going out on their own and participating in a class, team, or hobby that each child prefers. Just because they are twins doesn’t mean they like to do the same things or excel in similar areas. By allowing each child to venture out solo, they will learn what they want to do and will always have their twin rooting them on. If they want to do the same things, that is surely fine as long as it’s their call. This is a great way to make new friends too.
How did you encourage your twins to establish individual identities? We’d love to share your tips with the AMC community. For more information like this, please visit All My Children.
By: Melissa A. Kay
